I can play dumb UPDATE!!!

Before I start the actually update, I most share something with all of you. Guns and I are married, this is something I wasn't going to tell in my blog but Christine made a comment and I felt compelled to tell you guys. I figured if I was going to disclose to you, I should let you know the whole truth. Also, Guns is in the military that is why I am using an alias when I talk about him...enough said, lets update you.


So like I said, I found out Guns has this sick fetish that I could not put up with anymore. I caught him twice before the last time. The first time I caught him, he blamed it on me and because of my insecurities, I believed him. I felt maybe I wasn't doing something right or maybe I let myself go and I'm not the women he fell in love with.

• He did the typical guy thing and denied it at first, turned the script on me, and then swore that it will never happen again because he doesn't want to lose me.

As you can tell, it did happen again...and again he found a way to blame it on me, he made me feel like I was inadequate as a woman and a wife. I got so weak as a person to where I again believed it was my fault. Then he promised again and cried and said he will NEVER...EVER do this again, he doesn't know what's wrong with him and he's soooo happy I caught him because he knew what he was doing was wrong.

So I forgave him but it was hard for me to really trust him. I started to really keep an eye on him. He would get phone calls from his EXs and it would piss me off. His excuse for still talking to them is because they were is best friends before they were his girlfriends so I couldn't ask him to give up those friendships.

• Don't get me wrong people, there is nothing wrong with being friends with the opposite sex, but there is a limitation to your friendship. These ladies didn't have any respect for his marriage, they felt like they were still TOP DOGs when it came to him.

Right before he deployed, I found out he started doing the same thing again. So I put on a fake little smile and continued to be the good little wife of his. <----This is the reason I had his password to his email account, IM, and voicemail (even though he has tried to change it on me several times) because of shit like this! When he left, it was something that was eating at me, so I waited a week after he deployed to tell him that I was filing for a Legal Separation.

• Now if you really want someone to know that you mean business you have to be willing to do things that will have major consequences. I knew the legal separation would hit home for him, I always threaten to level him but this was on paper. It validated it.

Anyways, he finally calls me and I started telling him that I love him with all my heart, and then I told him that I was filing for legal separation, that I know he started to do the things he did before and I will be DAMNED if I allowed him to make me feel like it was my fault again. I told him that I was done with everything and that I hope that it was all worth losing me.

• Of course he started to freak out, asking me why am I doing this to him, why did I wait until he got to Iraq to tell him that....blah blah blah.

Then the denying came...and he tried to flip it on me, but I stood my ground. I told him, he's making things worse on himself by doing so because I have evidence. I told him that I had nothing else to say and if he wants to save what's left of this marriage he needed to get help. At first he said he didn't need help, so I told him then he didn't need me. I said that I put up with a lot of sh** in our relationship and I will not put up with it anymore. I can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth and I am tired of the lies. So I got off the phone with him.

• The worse thing you can ever do to a man his drop a bombshell like that on him and he can't do anything about it but wallow in it. I knew that because he was in Iraq all it could do was eat at him, I wanted him to see what he was losing and that's exactly what he was doing.

Everything started to go the way I wanted it to go, he pleading with me, he cried, he apologized, he was losing his mind....he wanted to know what he could do to save his marriage, for me not to leave him. I told him, the only way I would not file the papers if he goes by a few stipulations. He had to go to counseling for his fetish, we had to go to marriage counseling together, all communications between his EXs stops, and he had to go to church with me EVERY Sunday. He hesitated at first and then he agreed. I told him, I don't trust him and that I will need proof before I could ever let him back in.

Since that conversation, he has sent me emails telling me how much he loves me, that he will give me the world, and that he will do everything I asked and he will prove to me that he can be the man he use to be. I told him that's fine but if there is ONE slip up, then the papers are signed and I am gone. My bags will always be packed.

Stay tune for more updates on Guns and I....

Until then

Kisses xoxo

Strickly for the Fellas!!!

So fellas, I know you always wonder what women want and how to please them...here are some few tips.

This might come as a shocker, but sometimes we DON'T KNOW what we want. We would like to think that we do or even better, we would like for you guys to guess and then we decided if that's what we really want or not. But I can tell you what women would love for guys to do more in a relationship.

I am speaking for myself when I say this, if any ladies agree or disagree please comment and tell me why you feel that way.


Things we want to see more:

1. If a guy started out buy flowers and gifts before he got with us, we still want the flowers and gifts after you get with us.

• If you're the type of guy that never did that for your girl, you should probably start. It helps us know how special and important we are to you. It shows that you took the time out to think of something yourself

2. When we lay in bed, cuddle with us, try sleeping with your arms around us. We like feeling safe and loved

3. Send random I love you texts, that really get to us. You never know when your girl is down and needs a little " pick me up" and that text can come at the right time.

4. Ask us how are day went and mean it, if you ask, you actually have to care to listen

• This shows us that you care about us and you really want us to be able to tell you anything. It also allow us to vent and let off some steam and we will love you FOREVER

5. Try giving us little massages here and there.

• There is a lot of tension that builds up during the day, whether it is from work, school, or any daily activities.

6. COOK DINNER FOR US. Or at least attempt to, this is the most romantic and sexiest thing I believe a guy can do.

• Coming home to a candle lit dinner and soft music is a thrill for girls...that would but a permanent smile on our face...and it will certainly help with getting laid!!!

7. Take us out on dates

• You don't have to break you pockets at all or spend any money. There are always something that is going on in your community that is free and you both can enjoy together. It's the thought that counts.

8. Remind us how beautiful we are

• Sometimes insecurities can get the best of us, we will drift to the "I'm fat" "I don't feel pretty" or "does he still think I'm pretty" stage. And sometimes we need our men to grab us and look us straight in the eyes and a say "You're beautiful, you know that?"

9. Be spontaneous

• Sometimes spontaneity goes a long way. We don't like to do the same routine day in and day out. We like little changes; as long as it benefits the both of us.

10. Last but not least, tell us how you feel about us so we don't have to guess

• When it comes to emotions, men are like walls. We can't know how you truly feel without you expressing it. It's ok to be the first one to say "I love you"

Until then

Kisses xoxo

Question of the Day....Or Night

Why do women tend to go after the bad boys? Why do we always take the cheater's back....now come on, SERIOUSLY???



So I'm home (alone) :( watching The Game....(the alone part explain's why I'm doing that) and Melanie ass is chasing Derwin around like she some kind of a lost puppy. Home girl is so caught up and sprung, it's ASHAME...I mean if you ever seen The Game, then you know he cheated on her and then she decided to go around and sleep with other guys to get over him (which isn't too smart) and then he realizes what he lost...and blah blah blah...YOU GET THE POINT



So he chase her for awhile, which does help a woman's ego, and then she didn't want to give him any time of day, so he stopped....NOW Melanie did a 180 and want's him back...AS IF THE FACT THAT HE CHEATED ON HER ASS just slipped her mind!!!



Now the question(s) I posed above are some serious questions ladies, why do we like the bad boys who break our hearts and chase us around town once they seen that they messed up and once when they stop...WE BECOME THE LOST PUPPies????

It's like, once we see them moving on and giving up hope of ever getting back with us, we lose our minds and try to get back with them. Now they realize that we want them back and their HEADs start to get all big again!!! Don't you see ladies, this is what dudes want us to do. They want us to get jealous and feel like shit because we left them, but we have to beat them at their own games. I know this might seem a little High Schoolish but we have to show these dudes they can't get the best of us. I'm not telling anyone to start whoring around, all I'm saying is...get you a nice cutie for yourself and flaunt him around from time to time...and show your EX what he wish he still had.

We need to drop into his neighborhood sometimes with our hotties and let them see us with our new men...in their nice cars (I know it seems a little materialistic, but it helps) with big smiles on our face. That will set a dude off like fireworks. And once you done that, MISSION ACCOMPLISH!!! That's it, don't go running back to him because he shows up at your place apologizing....unless, UNLESSSSSSS....You truly believe deep down, way way way way way DEEP down in your heart that he does love you and that he is absolutely sorry for what he did, then you can take it slow with him. Don't give him boyfriend privilege with "just friends" status.<----- This is where most women mess up, we rush things. Take your time with the relationship, you know what the sex is like, you already had that with him. Find other ways to get intimate with him...the ball is in your court so he has to play the game the way you want to play it.

If this man is serious about getting back with you and doing better, he will do anything for you...Now ladies please don't abuse this privilege, because all it does is block your blessings and stopping him from being the man he needs to be in your life. Just give him little rules and let him know that you won't put up with his antics. Let him be the MAN in the relationship, just don't forget where you came from and what your goals are.

Until then

Kisses xoxo

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Yes People,

I am definitely supporting and endorsing Steve Harvey's book. For all you women, teen, and young adults who are having relationship problems, it doesn't matter if you're married, engaged or just dating, you need to check this book out. Ladies all I have to say is, where in the HELL was this book when I needed it 6-7 years ago??? This book answer a lot of questions that women always wanted answers to. It tell you things guys wouldn't tell you, especially how they really feel. It really helps you with your relationship and if you know your relationship is on a edge of no return....GET THIS BOOK.

It has been on Oprah, it is on the Best seller's list for 7 weeks now...7 WEEKS PEOPLE. This tells you a lot. He will be on Tyra talking about his book, I'm telling you everyone should own a copy and should buy one for a friend. All my friends are talking about it and some even read it more than once...so that should tell you something.

I would not endorse a book that I don't think will help you out; it's not in my nature. So please at least look it up, research it, do something...educate yourself on this book and you will see for yourself.

Until Then
Kisses xoxo

Small talk

Hey ladies,

I just want you to feel free to express yourself on my blog. I will be telling you things about myself that hopefully are helpful to you. My whole purpose of doing this is to let out the things that are getting to me and to see if I can help someone else with their relationship problems. Trust me, I'm sure I have been through whatever it is you are going through, if not, I'm sure one of my friends have. This blog isn't limited to any age groups, but I would love to reach out more to teenagers who feel they can't talk to their parents or friends because they feel too embarrassed by what they want to say. I also want to talk to my home girls who are struggling with relationship problems and are way pass the high school stage of life. So don't be ashamed to ask any question, whether is be about sex, relationships: romantic, family, and friends, school life, or just life in general...I am here for you, all ears.


Until then,
Kisses xoxo

I can play dumb

Why do men think women are so stupid??? Can anyone answer that question for me please!!!! So my "man" for all intents and purpose we will call him Guns, not like the weapon but more like his built, really thinks I'm one of those naive little girls. Guns went out of state for his job and left his cell phone with me and put a lock on it so I wouldn't go through it. But dumb ASS fail to put a code that I wouldn't find out, I mean come on my B-DAY!!!



*Here's the back story I've been with Guns for awhile and we are very very much tied together but he has this fetish that I found out about and he tries to hide it. Now I know I should of left a long time ago but it's something I'm working on. This is why I am creating this blog.





**Another side note: This is my first entry and I go by Pink LipstiQue, you can call me Pink for short. I want to write about my life and the sh** I put up with, without giving anything away, this can turn into a venting column or an advice blog or one of those "girl let me tell you" things. I don't know yet but I'm working on it.



So back to me and Guns...He's one of those dudes who will use you name or birthday or a tattoo as his password for something. YES I SNOOP. You have to sometimes, men are very sneaky but they are so dumb with it. They are more likely to get caught before a women does because we are very smart. I make sure I check email, facebook, myspace, text messages, IMs...you name it, I've checked it. Ladies please don't feel bad if you do, there is a reason for you going through his stuff. I always say "If I have second guess you, then I have to check you" simple as that. You want to know what's going on with your relationship and sometimes you have to go through extreme measures to get to it. So anyways, he left his phone here with my birthday as the password...put he was one step a head of me, he made sure he deleted any evidence in is inbox and is sent messages...but of course he isn't that smart, voicemail was still available. Ladies VOICEMAIL can be your best friend. She can tell you anything you want to know: call back numbers, date and time some called, and who it's from. Oh how I love voicemail...



So after going through about 10 bill collectors messages, I finally heard what I was looking for, "The ex that just won't let go". Now, this chick is really trying to see how much rope she has and I am 10 seconds away from showing her how far she can pull...LADIES VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER...that's why I haven't beaten her ass yet. I know I am bigger than that but some people just ask for it, sometimes that's all you can do. So this chick left a message calling him "baby" and telling him she misses him and when she was done, homegirl said : "I love you"



Now aint that BEACH...hehehe (trying to limit my cussing).

This is the beginning of some of the stories of my life...please stay tune to hear more or just shoot me a email if you want to ask questions...until then

Kisses xoxo