Refinding my smile

For the last few years I haven't smiled like I use to, and my happiness isn't what it use to be...when I really come to think of it, it's more than a few years since I've been truly happy.


This journey I am doing is not just to have a newer and better life, it is to find that smile I once had...the one people use to compliment me on. That just because smile...


Before I went to work this morning, I tried to apply for some jobs in Cali, and every time I type up my cover letter and get ready to submit it, the computer will have one of those "Internet Explorer is not working" message pop up and wipe the whole thing out...just piss me off (even after I would copy what I wrote just in case it happened again), submission after submission nothing...I finally had to give up because I was going to be late for work.

So I got in my car, and I started to talk to God (as I often do in the car) asking him if he just didn't want me to have that job or is it the move to Cali that I shouldn't do...and out of no where I began to sing "Just the Beginning" by Kurt Carr...sing the lyrics (and singing them wrong I might add) inspired me to put on my Pandora to my Kurt Carr station and you would NEVER guess what the first song that played..............JUST THE BEGINNING!!!! I couldn't do anything but thank God for his conformation in what I was doing. Just when I felt like I was making a mistake and being stupid, he reassured me....and that has definitely put a smile on my face


You see...I use to try to find my happiness in material things and in other people...but lately I've come to realize it's my relationship with God that will bring that smile back. Once I work on that relationship, everything else will fall in place and I know what God's blessing is like...I've felt it before, I've held it, experience it, appreciated it, and even destroyed it...and the funny thing about all of this is, despite my faults, he still loves me and blesses me. And that is enough to put a smile on anyone's face...

So there it is folks, I am on a journey to make my heart smile again...to truly glow...Reading this book (Repacking your Bags: How to Live with a New Sense of Purpose) is really helping and really allowing God to take over will do that and more

Until then
Kisses xoxo